How Male Friendships Support Mental Health

Mental health for men is quite frequently overlooked or stigmatised. Alarmingly, suicide rates among men are through the roof, and unfortunately are significantly higher than those of women; in the UK, men are nearly four times more likely to die by suicide than women.

Help can come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, though, and none are so comely as the warmth offered by a good group of friends. That being said, male friendships can often be a bit of a minefield, and often involve navigating over harsh social terrain, such as bullying (often disguised as “banter”). Yet, genuine friendships between men can be extremely powerful, especially during hard times.

Let’s take a look at the importance of camaraderie and shared experiences, the power of honest communication and emotional support, and how this can be leveraged when struggling against mental health challenges.

Importance of male friendships

The way that male friendships are socially perceived has evolved stridently over the years. Historically, social norms have dictated that men should be stoic, self-reliant, and emotionally reserved. The reasons for this are extremely complex. One thing is for certain: while there are positives to these character traits, they neglect a sensitive view of the balance of life; there can be no strength without subsequent vulnerability.

It’s a common part of everyday lingo: “Too much of anything is bad”. Evidently, toughness and self-reliance are virtues, but so is vulnerability and openness. Being a well-rounded man is not about being able to change bulbs and fix sinks while also speaking 10 languages and doing a million press ups in five minutes; it’s about balance, acceptance and honesty.

In that regard, the traditional masculine ideal, characterised by toughness and independence, has made it often feel impossible for many men to express vulnerability, leading to superficial friendships.

However, recent studies indicate a shift in these perceptions. Research published in the Journal of men’s studies highlights that younger generations of men are increasingly open to developing emotional bonds with their peers. A survey conducted by the American Psychological Association found that 63% of men believe it is important to have close friends to discuss personal issues, revealing a growing recognition of the need for emotional support within male friendships.

Benefits of male friendships

Male friendships among men can be pathways to far better emotional regulation and resilience. In any environment where you feel you can share your struggles, and discuss barriers to good mental health, you are likely to thrive. No one is saying you have to share, or that you must open up; but if you feel overwhelmed by the burden of your struggles, keeping them all bottled up is neither admirable nor courageous, just harmful and damaging.

Men who participate in group activities report higher satisfaction in their friendships and lower levels of loneliness. This companionship not only enriches social lives but also provides a buffer against mental health issues. Regular interactions with friends help to alleviate stress and promote a sense of belonging, which is vital for overall well-being.

Additionally, men with strong social networks are less likely to experience symptoms of depression and anxiety. Those who maintain close friendships are more likely to cope effectively with life’s challenges, such as job loss or relationship problems. These friendships can act as a protective factor, offering emotional stability and practical support during tough times.

Shared experiences

Engaging in activities with other men is a very effective way to strengthen friendships. Men who struggle together also improve together, and this can be a very positively reinforcing cycle. Perhaps you’re not a man who likes team sports? Great! You don’t have to have a passion for chanting silly songs at football matches to have fun, to let loose or to cultivate deep friendships. Go and do something you genuinely enjoy–preferably something active–and focus on the fun; the friendships will naturally follow.

That being said, playing on a team of some sort not only encourages collaboration and communication but also cultivates a spirit of healthy competition. These activities allow men to share victories and challenges, reinforcing their relationships. Hobbies, such as gaming or cooking classes, similarly create a platform for men to connect over common interests, enhancing the sense of community.

The role of humour

It’s no secret that humour is an essential part of any friendship. Shared laughter does wonders to strengthen bonds and create a positive atmosphere, making it easier for men to express themselves and connect emotionally. Laughter has been shown to reduce stress and promote feelings of joy.

Anecdotal evidence underscores this point; many men recount that their most cherished memories with friends involve shared jokes or humorous moments. For instance, a study by the University of Kansas found that couples and friends who laugh together tend to have stronger, more satisfying relationships. The researchers highlighted that humour serves as a coping mechanism during stressful times, helping to lighten the emotional load.

Humour can also combat feelings of isolation, a significant concern for men dealing with mental health issues.

Humour can sometimes go too far, though. It’s easy to feel encouraged to poke fun at a friend, particularly in group settings. If you’re in the presence of what starts to feel like bullying, it’s important to call it out so that the humour is funny for everyone involved.

Communication and emotional support

Open communication is essential for any friendship, but it holds particular significance in male friendships where societal norms often discourage emotional expression. Many men grow up with the belief that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness, which can lead to feelings of isolation and heightened mental health issues.

Men are generally socialised to be less expressive than women, leading them to communicate their feelings through actions rather than words. This difference in communication styles can hinder emotional connections and make it difficult for men to seek help during challenging times.

However, strong friendships can help mitigate these barriers. When men cultivate relationships built on trust and understanding, they create safe spaces for emotional expression. Men who feel comfortable discussing their emotions with friends are more likely to report higher levels of mental well-being.

Friends can provide critical emotional support during tough times, such as job loss or relationship issues. For instance, during a job search, having a friend to share frustrations with can lessen feelings of inadequacy and anxiety.

In matters of relationships, friends can act as sounding boards, offering advice and validation during difficult moments.